The Sleep Study

I had a sleep study last night because my pulmonary doctor was concerned by my overnight pulse ox numbers (lowest reading was 81).  So I went last night to have it done, not knowing really what to expect or if I was even going to sleep well.

I had not slept well for the past couple of nights because if I don't take a sleeping pill I won't sleep or won't sleep well.  I figured with that plus a sleeping pill I'd be able to give what they wanted at the sleep center.  It was successful.

Since I pre-registered, which is highly recommended, I was ushered to my room right away.  In fact, there were four of us taken at the same time.  The room looked just like a hotel room but it had electrodes laying on the bed and the TV was a 19-incher.  There was a fan in case one got warm but it was cool enough that I didn't use it, well, just yet.

The tech, Jenna, was an absolute sweetheart.  She had a patient to hook up before me so I went ahead and got into my night clothes, turned on the TV to Long Island Medium, and played on my phone.  About 45 minutes later she was ready to hook me up to the machinery.

Jenna asked that I sit in the chair while she measure my head and neck.  I didn't know that there were that many ways to measure your head but there are.  She also marked my head with a pen to know where to put the wires.  The gel was cold when she put it on my legs, left side of my body, and all over my head, and a few on my neck.  She did press kind of hard to make the wires stay put.  Then the belt was put around my tummy to measure my breaths and one put around my chest to measure my heart rate.  She put a cannula on me because that measures my breathing through my nose.  The pulse ox apparatus was put on my finger and I was all set to go!

I took my sleeping pill before she started and by the time I got to bed I was feeling its effect.  I recommend you take a sleeping aid because you won't sleep well without it.   I was just about to drift off when I hear Jenna's voice over the intercom letting me know it's time to test out to make sure the leads were doing their job.  Five minutes later I was good to go so let sleep begin.

It didn't.  It waited a good half hour or so before I was drifting in and out of sleep.  The TV was on a timer but I was ready to shut it off for the night.  Once it was quiet I fell asleep until I woke myself up snoring.  I did that three times until I told myself to turn on my side the best I could.  I fell right to sleep until Jenna came into my room to flip over my pillow and put on the fan.  It seems I was warm and  the sensors need for me to not be so hot.  Heh, didn't know I was that hot.  ;)  I was pretty much cold the rest of the night but I'd rather be cuddled with the blankets than throwing them off because I'm sweating.

They also filmed me while asleep so I just prayed that I didn't do anything funny or weird while sleeping.  I don't think I talk in my sleep or sleep walk but you never know.

Anyway, I would wake up off and on throughout the night but overall slept pretty well.  A little after 5:00 this morning Jenna woke me up, brought me coffee (God love that girl), and it was time to take off the leads.  I asked her if I did anything strange like walk around or things like that and she said no.  Whew!  So I'm one of the few where Ambien doesn't make me do weird things except just sleep. I also noticed that I must not have sleep apnea, if at all, because she did not come in to put a CPAP on me.  I should have the results of this study in 2-3 weeks.

My recommendations for those who may have this study are:

• Bring at least one of your favorite pillows.  I only brought one and they only let you use 2 max.  At TMH Sleep Center, the pillows are kind of squishy and I like firm.
• Take a sleeping aid to help you sleep.  Even though the bed and surroundings are pretty comfortable, all those leads connected everywhere on your body aren't.  
• Bring a blanket if you tend to be on the cold side.  Jenna stated that her rooms are usually cold and she's not sure why.  I didn't mind being cool but you might.
• Bring a snack if you are a night eater.  I had eaten dinner and was full but I brought some granola bars as a just in case.
• I'm one of those who likes to fall asleep to the TV.  If you are too, TMH Sleep Center TVs do have timers.  Final lights out is at 11PM.
• Not a recommendation but something you'd like to know:  you will wake up, give or take, around 5AM the next morning and they will bring you juice or coffee.  I chose coffee because, well, I don't want to tell you what I'm like without my morning coffee.  They will have creamer and any sweetener you may use.
• Take a shower before you leave because that gel sticks like hell.  (Your room may not have a bathroom so you may want to request one that does.) I had to interrupt writing in this blog to take a shower to get the gel off my legs, head, neck, left side of my body.  Crap, it's still not all the way off.  I'll scrub more during tomorrow morning's shower. 

That's about it for me.  I had read the below article on what to expect before my study and it was pretty much spot on to what happened to me.  Please let me know if you have any questions.  

What A Sleep Study Is Like: Things I Wish I Knew Before My Sleep Test

Narcissism

Apologies that I haven't blogged in over two months.  It's not that I haven't had anything to talk about but just either too lazy to write or something else has distracted me.  Will try to do better.

I do have a topic I want to talk about is narcissism.  Okay, I had to look up the spelling because it's one of those words which I can't spell.  But I digress.  You all know I'm a Facebook junkie and my OCD is pretty much fulfilled by this site.  I have over 500 friends, but most are family, people I do know from work or my past, and the rest are people who play the same games as me.  I know, it's time to weed the Facebook friend garden and I will when the motivation hits.

I digress again.  I have noticed that a few of my friends constantly take pictures of themselves.  I don't mean weekly but I mean everywhere they go they take a picture of themselves.  Out to shop...snap a pic of me and my new purchase.  Out to eat...snap a pic of me, the kid and hubby and half-eaten food.  Out to the gym...snap a pic of me in my cute workout clothes.  At home with no makeup....snap a pic of me so you can see how beautiful I am au natural.  You catch my drift.  So can you say narcissism?

They also talk only of themselves and about how wonderful their lives are.  I don't mean to be dissing that but after you hear it the first hundred times it's really time to talk about other things in life.  Don't you have strife and troubles like the rest of us?  Is your life THAT perfect?  If you look at my statuses they are a perfect combination of good and bad.  Alright, not perfect but there sure is a mixture.  My life ain't hunky dory and I know everyone else isn't either.

I know with my bitching that I can hide these people and I will.  I do hide those people who I still want to be connected with but are too political (enough already!) or whose views are way too slanted for me.  That's okay, though.  I go visit every now and then to see how they are and it's the same bullshit.  Unfriend?  Naw, because hiding does a good job of obscuring this nonsense.

But I digress yet once again.  I just hope that those who are truly into themselves by constantly clicking the camera on their most awesome subject, themselves, are truly happy.  And, honestly, we really don't need to see so many pictures of you.  I'd rather see your pet pictures.

How do you fix yourself?

Right now I am feeling very low, very down, depressed.  I don't like when my emotions are running raw because I don't like myself.  But they do make me think and analyze my life and the changes that need to be made.

Unfortunately, like most people, I have so many changes to make in my life but I think, hey, I'm 52 so why change?  I don't have many years left to live so does it matter?  Well, yeah, it does matter because life is too short to not enjoy it.

Lately I have been reflecting to what my desires and dreams were when I was younger.  Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a teacher.  My parents even bought me a chalkboard to satisfy the little girl dreams.  I used to line up my stuffed animals and teach them whatever subject I knew enough of to teach.  Of course I had the smartest students and they all passed every lesson.  

That passion never left me as I grew older.  When I went to Tallahassee Community College (TCC) and was just about to get my A.A. I figured what I wanted to major in:  Child Development.  So I studied that and Family Relations at Florida State, got my degree and then went on to receive a Masters in Family Relations afterwards.  

It was during graduate school that I saw a notice about taking the ACT on the bulletin board in the College of Home Economics (now the College of Human Sciences) and pass it to enter the College of Education.  I thought for a moment that I could be a teacher, something I always wanted to be.   I stared at it but knowing how awful I do on standardized tests I turned around and walked away.  Now, I realize that I should have taken the test because what would have happened if I would have passed?  I surely wouldn't be working for the State of Florida but teaching at one of the elementary schools here in Tallahassee.  My dream.  My passion.

I just took a break to let the dogs out.  I was thinking about what other emotions I can let loose.  Writing about marriage was one topic but don't think that will ever happen so I don't even want to go there.  But I started to count my blessings, which I usually do when feeling down in the dumps.  My biggest blessings are my pups.  They love me no matter what and ALWAYS give me the biggest greeting when I come home.  They love when Mommy gives them any attention, especially hugs and kisses and cuddles.  How can your spirits not be uplifted with them showing love right back?  And the other blessings, having a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly, a job which I absolutely love, and so much more.....I'm feeling better already.

I know God gives us these feelings of despair to remind us of the good that we do have.  So many times we just don't think that we deserve rough times but there is much good to cover the bad that we can't be blinded.   We just need to take a deep breath and remember His love.  He will never, ever leave our side and will always guide us in the path that is chosen for us.  The light is always shining at the end of the tunnel.  Patience.  I just answered the question to the title of this entry.

Three Years

Three years ago my father was lying in his Hospice bed waiting for peace to finally be with him.  His entire family rallied around him hoping that his transition would be peaceful and that any pain he was experiencing would be final.  Peace was with him as he took his final breath with me and my sister-in-law witnessing.  

It was a relief to know that Daddy wasn't suffering any longer but so sad that we would never get to see him again, feel his hugs and kisses, and know how much he loved us.  No one loved his family more than my father.  We were the most important thing in his life, I figured out after he died, that nothing would stand in his way to make sure we were always present.  He would speak with family at least once a week, and this includes his brother and sister-in-law who he loved very much.  

I think about him and Mama every day.  I'm so much like my mother I can't help but think about her.  I talk like her, laugh like her, have mannerisms like her, that sometimes it scares me.  And Daddy, when I smile with my mouth closed I'm like him, my gentleness around animals and enjoying being around others I'm like him.  Of course, I strive to be a better person every day but I have some good role models to help guide me.  

As tomorrow approaches, the third anniversary of his death, I pause and think about my father and how much we loved him and how much others loved him.  We all are better people to have known him.  God bless you, Daddy.

Change

Okay, this really isn't about life changes but something I was thinking about.  Well, it could be considered life changing but for everyone, not just one person.

Sometimes my brain goes weird (hush to those who are saying it's weird all the time) and I start to think about off-the-wall things.  This morning was one such time and I was thinking about how much phones have changed since my parents were born.

Phones were invented not too long before my parents were born, about 50 years, so they were ever changing as they still are today.  Alexander Graham Bell patented his phone back in the 1870s and it's been a rush of technological change ever since.  Thanks, Mr. Bell!

Back in 19..well, let's start even further back in time to when my grandfather, Sam Mendelson, was born.  In 1886, this phone was in use and even used by Mr. Bell himself.  This type of phone used a platinum diaphragm for better long distance transmission.  So I'm guessing that you talk and listen in the same piece.  Wow!

When my mother and father were born, in 1925, phones became much more modernized.  Look how there is now an earpiece and a mouthpiece so you can talk and listen at the same time.  Also, notice that you have a dialer so you don't necessarily have to go through the operator.  Another wow!

Now comes the time when I was born in 1960.  Technology exploded and look how nice phones became.  They looked sleek and the cord connecting the phone to the receiver was thicker and looked much nicer than the phones from the '20s.  The dialer was made of plastic and it looks much more comfortable to dial with than older phones.  

So time moved on and phone technology progressed beyond imagination and soon the dialer became push-buttoned.  How many of my friends remember when those came out?  Do you remember your first push-button phone?  I think everyone had a princess phone and some of you may still have one today.  Actually, I always loved them and wouldn't mind owning another one.  I think it's the princess in me that wants it.  

Now we come to the 1980s, the decade my niece was born.  Now we have cordless phones, those phones which don't have a cord but a base to charge the battery.  Well, wow!!  I remember our first few of these phones and they were heavy and clunky but oh-so-cool.  We could now walk around the house or even outside (not too far or we'd lose connection) and talk to our friends or family.  Who would have thunk, huh?

Phones really haven't changed too much since then, just improved.  I have a phone like the above in my house as do most of you.  Oh well, maybe you don't if you don't have a landline.  Landline---a new word of the late 20th century-early 21st century which was created when cellphones started to burst into being.  Yes, I have a landline because my cellphone reception is not the best in my neck of Leon County, Florida.  

Cellphones, I remember when I got my first one back in 2001.  I thought it was cool to have one even though I really didn't need it.  How wrong I was because now, 12 years later, I wouldn't know what to do without it.  The phone does almost everything a computer does so it's handy while you're waiting at the doctor's office or waiting for your order at your favorite restaurant.  It's a multi-use item that will never, ever go away.

And with all this let's thank Alexander Graham Bell for inventing the first telephone and to all those men and women who spent tireless hours so we will always have a means of communication.  You all rock!!

Sensitivity

You wouldn't know it, but I am a sensitive person, like my mother was.  We both seem strong on the outside but inside is another story.  Certain things, when touched deeply, brings tears, thoughts and ponderings.  Today is such a day when I learned that someone I knew passed away this past Wednesday, January 23rd. 

Barry worked in a different area of Florida Department of Health than I but I would call him when I needed data.  He always was quick to supply me with the information I needed.  When he announced his retirement years ago I wondered what Barry would do with his life since he was so young in retiring.

I learned a few things about Barry after he retired.  I learned that he was a professional photographer who took pictures of international ice skating competitions.  I also learned he was in the Flying High Circus when he attended Florida State University and would take pictures of the group long after he graduated.  I learned that Barry was a gardener extraordinaire who had a vast garden of so many different plant types that I can't even begin to tell you what the plants were.  Sometimes he would harvest his plants and flowers and give to charities to raise money.  From all this I learned that Barry was passionate about whatever he did and he gave 110% to any project he was working on.  

I was in shock when I learned of Barry's death this morning.  He was the one who I asked where I could get mulhy grass and he mentioned the nurseries here in Tallahassee might have some.  They did but were really expensive.  Months later I received a message from Barry via Facebook that he had mulhy grass and would sell for half the price the nurseries were selling it for.  BARGAIN!  I met up with him, we did the exchange, I planted the muhly grass and the plants are growing, growing, growing!  I was so grateful that he remembered that I wanted the plant and had some available.  That was Barry to remember what others wanted and to give when he could.

Barry died from injuries sustained in a car accident.  He leaves a wife, brother and sisters.  To them, my condolences and prayers.  To his friends and former colleagues, we have a lot to live up to.  His death has brought a lot of tears today because we lost someone who cared so much for others and didn't have a selfish bone in his body.  Yup, we have a lot to live up to.

Today is the beginning of a brand new year, one that hasn't been written yet but each day we live will fill a page.  Yes, I am feeling melancholy because so much has happened this past year that it has made me think.  The past few months, especially, have been a time for reflection of my life, my friends' lives, and controlling feelings.

My life grew in 2012.  The best part was getting a new job that challenges me by letting me use my head and think of solutions.  I also have made new friends who I will treasure in my heart for always and these are people from work.  The environment there is very different from my previous job:  no drama, no back-stabbing, no gossiping.  It's so relaxing and people genuinely care for one another.  I'm not saying it didn't happen at my old job but let's say it wasn't seen very often.  

The division where I work, we are in the process of moving into the building I came from (I always said I'd come back but that's not what I meant LOL).  People are being box hoarders but I'm not worried about it.  In my younger days I would be frantic---must have boxes to pack--but aging has made me more patient.  That's a good thing.  :)

I did stick with a resolution and that was to up my exercise.  I managed to exercise at least once a week, which was towards the end of the year, but other weeks I did 3-4 times a week.  I really love Leslie Sansone's Walk At Home program.  You can walk with whatever intensity you want or can do and break a sweat even if you're not that into it.  I walk at least a mile and on one occasion I did her 5-mile walk.  Dang, talk about ready to fall down exhausted but I felt good knowing I can do this.  This is my favorite DVD of hers "Leslie Sansone 5-Day Walk Plan". You can either do what she has suggested +toning exercises or you can choose what you want to do.  I did notice a blooper in the Blue Mile. She's doing one thing but saying another.  LOL   Also, Leslie Sansone is online with a few full-length videos for you to exercise to.  It's called the "Leslie Sansone's Walk at Home."  I use this one most of the time.  

A few upsetting things did occur in the last few months of 2012.  On October 24, 2012 I lost someone who was like my sister.  We met at the quit smoking forum back in October 2002 and even got to visit with each other and other moderators of the forum a couple of times.  One was at her house in Montana in 2008.  That's when I fell in love with the wide open spaces state.  It is absolutely gorgeous!  Gaylene was very special.  She was a lung cancer survivor and was one of my heroes.  Each year she had scans and tests and they showed she was cancer-free.  The treatments worked!  However, Gay already had COPD which compromised her breathing.  This is what eventually killed her.  I remember her being short of breath and her cough was awful.  This is what smoking can possibly do to you.  Please stop smoking if you do smoke.  I don't want you to die.  Here is a link to Gay's journal on the smoking cessation site on About.com:  Gaylene's Cancer Journal.

Also, the Sandy Hook Elementary killings hurt my heart.  These poor children and adults had their lives to live and they were taken away with a shot from a gun.  I pray for them, their families and hope their loved ones' is lessening as each day passes.  Grief will never go away but the memories should help put smiles back on their faces.  I also pray for the gunman, Adam Lanza.  What he did was unthinkable but some sort of forgiveness will help us move on from this tragedy.  

As far as 2013 goes....well, I hope it's uneventful with lots of laughter and smiles.  My uncle will be turning 90 in February so my family and I are hoping to go up to celebrate this big occasion.  He and my aunt live in NY so I'm shooting for when the weather is not as cold, as in no snowing.  LOL  I am praying for my friends and family that all their wishes come true.  I know there have been times when things just aren't going the way we want but if we pray and be patient then they will happen.  My wish for you is the same.  Happy New Year!